I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
