I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
