I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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