omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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