I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
