Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize