I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
