She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think people are normalizing furries
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
