she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
