your parents love me but you hate me
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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