4 words: hood of his car
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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