my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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