I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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