idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
