Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
