she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
A+ Viking dick
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
