College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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