Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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