just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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