I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
