i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
