Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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