You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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