Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
