Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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