I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
