I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
