just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
