You just made me feel so damn special
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
