is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize