Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
