How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
