how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
