I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
