the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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