It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She bit a glass in half.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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