i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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