Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My penis needs a shock collar
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
