Little spoons don't ask big questions
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
