Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
