she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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