I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
