oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
