It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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