My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
