Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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