don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
