there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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