Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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