Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
