Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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