we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Randomize
