About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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