Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize