dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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