His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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